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Monthly Archives: January 2007

I’ve been asked to submit a painting to an exhibition titled “The Geographical Center of a Shrinking Planet: Local Artists in the Global Age” at the E.B. White Gallery at Butler County Community College.

I decided to paint a self portrait that explores the internal struggles of the starving artist. How does a creative person maintain creativity? How does an artist stay focused and productive? And most importantly, how does an artist handle rejection and failure?

I believe in the Universal Law Of Attraction. I firmly believe that you can achieve happiness and success if you focus on positive thoughts. If you remain optimistic and diligent you can achieve any goal you set for yourself. You often fail before you succeed, but you should never allow your failures to defeat you.

BUT I often find it difficult to stay positive and remain focused on my goals. Sometimes depression gets the best of me and all of the negative energy buried deep in my gut starts to eat at me. Sometimes I want to give up and stop painting. Sometimes I feel like a failure.

This painting will explore the duality that plagues the modern artist.

The Light + The Dark.

Below are some notes I wrote to help me formulate my ideas. I very rarely do preliminary drawings for a painting, but I often write down word associations or written descriptions of what the painting might look like.

I’m portraying myself as a two headed creature / siamese twin that is conflicted about his role in the universe. One head represents the pessimistic / dark side and the other represents the optimistic / light side.

Have a great Sunday…..

i’m torn between exploring the “destruction method” style of painting further…. to the point of total abstraction.

making the destruction more apparent.

or

showing a progression of images that slowly become more and more
abstracted / faded / washed out / scratched out

GHOSTS

or layering “destroyed” images on top of one another…….

or

finding new ways to “destroy” the images

or

abandoning the concept completely….

but I ultimately find the concept of destruction verses creation to be the most interesting to me.

i just haven’t fully embraced or realized those images.

i still hold back.

i’m far from fully exploring that idea.

tomorrow I will paint

and

see

-dust